No one ever said this was going to be a walk through the park. Are you really surprised they said no? Your child most likely will be upset, angry, even scared that what they have been doing will be exposed. They know there are consequences if it’s found out they are using drugs.
You, the parent are at this stage because you are scared for your child’s safety. The decision to drug test your child did not happen overnight. Changes in their school grades, behavior, friend group, & appearance have made you suspect that your child is on something. This problem will not go away by itself. Think about it this way: If you ignore the problem, can you live with yourself if/when your child becomes part of a statistic?
Here are some suggestions on how to respond to your child when they refuse to give you a urine specimen so you can submit it for drug testing.
Tell them:
- I’m not asking you if you want to do this. I’m telling you, you have to do this.
- You have no choice.
- This has already been decided. There is no discussion on this subject.
- You are living in my house. You are giving me a urine sample.
- Give me your car keys. If you don’t pee in this cup for me, you are not driving your car, my car, or any other car in this house.
- If you have nothing to hide, why do you mind peeing in a cup?
- If you don’t pee in this cup for me, you lose your right to have a credit card. Ask for the card back. If your child refuses to give the card to you, tell them you’ll call on the phone and cancel it that way.
- Threaten to freeze their bank account(s) unless they do what you asked.
- Do not let them negotiate the terms of providing a urine sample. “I’ll do it but you can’t be in the bathroom with me”. You need to be in that bathroom with them to ensure a good urine sample is taken.
- Let your child know they don’t make the rules, you do!
